Leaving
by greysanatomy4life
Summary: I posted the entire story at once.. so yeah... Addison and Alex centric. 1st three chapters are weird format, so if its not appealing to you, skip to ch.4 its better.. I think..
1. You Should Probably Know

A/N: Okay so here's the deal. I wrote this early before any Private Practice details came out, so its a little bit AU.. oh well. Also, the first three chapters are written in a weird dialog format, but I didn't feel like going back and changing everything so if you don't want to read that weird stuff skip to ch. 4, I think its better than the rest. Finally, I posted the whole story at one time, so if you're wondering why 4 chapters are already posted, now you know. Thanks!!!

Remember: If this doesn't look appealing just skip to chapter 4!!!

* * *

Addison: Hey!

Alex: Hey, I was just checking on her, she spiked a post-op fever last night, but she's doing well now.

Addison: Yeah, she's a fighter, she's going to come through, but um... how are you? The Meredith

thing... it was... intense, so... if you need to talk or something...

Alex: Yeah... I'm good, yeah, but um... maybe we could get lunch or something

Addison(smiling inwardly): Yeah, yeah okay.

**Later at lunch**

...Alex: I'm still in shock a little bit, and its not like we're really close or anything but, she's one of us. And I don't mean she's just an intern, but its like here at the hospital, we're all a family and she's part of that family and so losing her... This hospital and these people, they're all I really have so its hard for me to imagine that she could have died and it just hit me, but I'm working through it.

Addison: You trust me.

Alex: What?

Addison: You don't open up like this with people, I can tell, it takes a lot for you to trust someone enough to tell them what you're feeling, but you have that with me...

Alex: Yeah, I do, I trust everything about you.

Addison: I trust you too, a lot, and since we're sharing, I need your opinion... on something...

Addison: Do you promise you won't judge me...

Alex: Sure thing...

Addison(smiles back):Okay

Addison: I gave Mark another chance, I told him if he could go sixty days without sex, if he could be completely monogamous, then I would try having a real relationship with him. So..

Alex: Why give him another chance? Do you really think he's changed?

Addison: You said you didn't want me.

Alex: Really...?

Addison: No, but kind of... but(reminiscing) Mark... he's the man that I gave up my marriage for. I fell in love with him, it was an accident, and I should have seen it coming, but its too late now. I fell in love with him, I gave up everything for him, and I have a hard time thinking that throwing away all that history is really such a great idea. Although... there's the other part of me... the part that says "What the hell Addi? You bring this crap on yourself by treating your love life like it's some damn game show. "The Can he or Can't he show". So.. now what do you think?

Alex: I think that you are making him give up sixty days for you, when you gave up your life for him, why?

_Silence_

Alex: I also think that I would give up a life time, just to have a single chance with you.

Addison(stunned): Oh...So 60 days... you don't think that's long enough..?

Alex smiled knowing Addison was stunned

"I would give up anything for you. For the way you smile and the way, you talk to the babies in the nursery when you think no one is around. And your "sparkling personality" and how I think you are the smartest woman I have ever met... And your eyes... the way they light up when you're happy...60 days... no way in hell is that long enough."

Addison should have been smiling, but instead a grimace crept over her face. She should have seen this coming. All the stolen glances in the hall, the shared cups of coffee, the hours spent together under the pretense of "doing charts", It wasn't meaningless. Damn it... damn it...

I have to tell you something. I don't think you are going to want to hear it...

* * *

If you think its awful, then just skip to ch. 4 atleast. Comment on that one..please? 


	2. Leaving

Addison: Alex, I'm leaving

Alex: What? You're leaving?

Addison: I was offered a job, a friend, in Los Angles, LA General. They needed someone in Neonatal and it turns out that I am their girl.

Alex: You didn't tell me.

Addison: Alex, I am sorry, it was sudden, I was on the phone with a friend. We were talking, about New York and Seattle, and how I wished I could just get away, and he said there was an opening, so I said okay and... next week, it's my last..

Alex: So what does that make us? I just put myself out there, for what, for nothing? So you could tell me off this time, instead of the other way around?

Addison: You told me you were not interested, a long time ago, you told me that! And now, now you suddenly change your mind, now you want a chance? It doesn't work like this. I am trying so hard to put my past behind me, and you can't expect me to just stay... I can't, not now, not for all the wrong reasons.

Alex: Fine, whatever

**ONE WEEK LATER**

_The Chief, while disappointed that Addison, the woman who he mentored for so many years, was leaving. He nonetheless was happy for her, and while short notice, was able to pull together a small going away party for her._

Derek: Addi, you're really leaving?

Addison: Yeah, I am. I should have done this along time ago Derek, but, it never seemed right.

Derek: It's time now though? James offered you the position at LA General, and its time for you to take it?

Addison: Yeah... Its time for me to leave, you deserve Seattle, and I owe myself another chance, I need to wake up some place different, at least for a while...

Derek: Addison, I want you to be happy more than anything else, and I want you to have that chance, to start over. For eleven years, you were the love of my life, and not a day goes by that I don't think about that, and if this is what it takes, for you to be happy, then I support you.

Addison: Thanks...

Derek(smiles): No, Problem...

Addison: I guess this is goodbye ... for good this time...

Derek: For good this time...

Callie: ADDISON MONTGOMERY!

Addison(startled): Callie?

Callie: You are leaving! And you didn't even tell me.

Addison: I'm sorry Callie, it was a sudden thing and I...

Callie: Hey, its fine, I'm just kidding. Although I don't know what I am going to do with out you. I need your help, defeating the evil Izzie Stevens.

Addison: For some reason, I don't think you need my help to take her down...(laughs)

Callie: You are right, but, I'm going to miss you. Who am I going to eat lunch with?

Addison: Well... there's that Psych resident, Sydney... Heron..? (giggles)

Callie: Oh god... Addison, really..?

Addison: I'll call you when I leave.

Callie: You'd better!... Okay, so this is bye. (sad face)

Addison: Yeah, Okay.. bye (sad face)

Addison: I will vist though... tons!

Callie: Oh, like you even had a choice not too!

_they hug and blah blah_

Mark: Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?

Addison: I was considering it..

Mark: Addi, why? Why can't you stay here? If you want to leave, leave with me, we can go back to New York together.

Addison: The New York part bothers me, but the "together" part pisses me off.

Addison: Mark, we tried, I tried, and I like to think you tried, and it just couldn't happen, it didn't work. And there's a lot of different reasons for that.

Mark: You used to love me...

Addison: I did Mark, I fell out of love with my husband, and I fell head over heels in love with you. But things change. Could it have worked between us, I really think it could have, but we both have so much baggage. Maybe if you hadn't been Derek's best friend... or maybe if we gave it another try someplace that wasn't Seattle, and wasn't New York. Those are all maybe's Mark, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all they'll ever be, I'm sorry.

Mark: I only wish I had met you before Derek had...

Addison: There were times when I wished that too... but... I did love my husband for a very long time, and its hard to forget that.

Mark: I don't know what I'm going to do with out you. Maybe I'll stay out here, start a private practice...

Addison: You would leave Seattle Grace?

Mark: I'm no good at the teaching thing, I only tolerated it because of you... and you're gone so...

Addison: Have a good life Mark... bye

Mark: Addison... you will always be my baby, and I will always love you...

Addison: Not always Mark. You will find someone, someone who doesn't take your crap sitting down, and someone who will keep you on your toes. You will find some one who you love more than me.

Mark: Never, not possible...

Addison: Bye Mark

Mark: Bye Addison...


	3. Come and Go

_Addison is packing, it's the morning after the party. Yesterday was her last official day as Head of Neonatalogy at Seattle Grace. She was moving, moving to a new city, where no one knew her, she wasn't the girl who cheated on the Neuro God with the Plastics God, she was just Addison. A fresh start, and she was happy about it._

**Door Bell Rings... who could it be...**

Addison: Oh, hey! I didn't know if I would get to see you... before I... left.

Alex: No way am I just letting you leave, not without asking you to stay..

Addison: Alex, its..

Alex: No, just listen. I know why you're leaving, I get it. You need to be some place where people don't know you, some place that doesn't remind you of New York or Seattle. You want to drive away from here, and rip the rear-view mirror off...

Addison(almost to herself): okay...?

Alex: But, I am asking you to stay, please stay, for me? As the woman who sees the real me, who knows that even if I seem cocky and shallow, I'm just covering up my insecurities. As the person, who gave me a chance when everyone else had given up. Please stay, please stay for the man that has fallen in love with you. Please stay, for me...

Addison(her words trailing off, tears forming): You love me?

Alex: With everything I have

Addison: Love isn't enough, not this time. This time I have to choose me over the guy. Alex, its.. too late...

Alex: I'm not giving up, don't think for a second that I am giving up on you. You are pushing me away, but I'm not moving. You take your time and space, and when you're ready, I'll be right here waiting.

Addison: I might not ever be ready...

Alex: That's okay, I'll still be waiting. Have a safe trip. I love you and I'll miss you.

Addison: Bye...

_**Seattle Grace... two days after Addison left**_

Derek: Dr. Karev, how are you today?

Alex: Dr. Shepherd. I've been better...

Derek: Addison left...?

Alex: um... yeah

Derek: You loved her...

Alex: Who told you?

Derek: It's not rocket science, I know Addison, she loves you too. But she will push people away, the people she loves the most, she pushes them away. Fear of intimacy, that's what our marriage councilor said, which is funny, because I... we... never experienced a lack of intimacy... hmm... anyways...If you love her the way I think that you do, you won't sit around waiting on her forever, you've got to show her what she means to you.

Alex: You're right. I can't wait for her to decide.. god knows how long it would take, for a surgeon, she's awfully indecisive...

Derek: Tell me about it... back when we were married, she would be getting ready, and her hair and make up and everything, it was all done, and we were on schedule, but we ended up late. Guess why? It's because it took her thirty minutes to pick out an outfit! I don't understand... she did always look hot though...

Alex: Yeah... thanks... Dr. Shepherd...

_Later that same day_

Alex: Dr. Webber, I need to speak with you about...some...administrative issues..

Chief: Make it quick Karev, I don't have all day.

Alex: Yes, sir. See, what I need is...

Chief: Really? Are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do?

Alex: I made a promise to her, and I am going to keep it.

Chief: You realize the paper work could take two months, if they even allow it.

Alex: Oh, I understand, I've done my research.

Chief: Well then, good luck Alex.

Alex: Thank you, sir.

_It had been __**nearly two months**__ since she'd moved to LA. She was happy here. She was known for her skills in the operating room, as opposed to her abilities at creating hospital gossip. In LA she was just Dr. Montgomery, no Shepherd on the end of her name, and no funny titles like "Satan or Adulterous Bitch or McHot(although she kind of liked that one seeing as how Alex gave it to her...). She was just Addison, and she was happy about it._

Callie: Addison, how are you!?

Addison: I am wonderful, LA is wonderful. It's nice to be known as Addison, and not Satan.

Callie: Good for you, I am happy that you are happy. So.. you planning on visiting the rainy city any time soon?

Addison: Well.. I was thinking about this weekend..? Is that good for you?

Callie: It's pretty damn perfect, some would say fantastic! Actually, maybe this would be a good weekend... you should probably talk to Alex while you're here.

Addison: um... how is he?

Callie: He's fine, just missing a piece. You took part of him with you when you left, and he hasn't replaced it just yet.

Addison: Really...? No other women, nothing...?

Callie: Other women!? No other women, not unless he really thought his chance with you was gone.

He still pining over you, I think he would wait years for you, but he's changed, since you left.

Addison: Well, I am definitely coming this weekend. To see you, and maybe I'll get a chance to talk to Alex.

_Seattle Grace_

Addison: Richard! How are you? How's Adele, we need to get together, all of us.

Chief: Addison, we are doing wonderfully, but you. How is LA is it what you wanted, what you needed?

Addison: It absolutely is. I feel like myself again, I haven't felt that way in... years.

Chief: I'm glad, and maybe... someday, you'll be back in Seattle... as Chief..?

Addison: Hey! You've still got along time left, besides... you've got the three stooges to choose from.

Chief: Yeah, them, plus the fab five. My department heads, they're something, but the interns... never in my life...

Addison: It's Alex Karev, isn't it

Chief: I really shouldn't say, I can't say. But I do know, he'll tell you, in his own time.

Addison: Okay, I trust you. But I'm due in the lobby at 8 o'clock sharp, to meet a fabulous ortho resident. So I'll call you... and maybe Adele and I can get together.

Chief: I'll give her your regards, I'll see you Addi.

Callie: Addison! Over here!

Addison: Hey! Whats up

Callie: Well first, this is from Alex. _She hands Addison a small folded note._ He said you should read it tonight.

Callie: Second... I have gossip.

Addison: Ooh... Do spill.

Callie: First.. we need some alcohol... Joe's?

Addison: Bring it on, I'm ready

Callie: You and me both

_Fast forward, now they're at Joe's_

Addison: So what's the latest gossip

Callie: Well, Mark left, as you probably know. He's still here all the time though, he uses our OR, figures right? But he's doing the private practice thing and it seems that he's found himself another girl... a one... Izzie Stevens.

Addison(thinking): So much for what he told me...

Addison: Didn't see that coming, but actually. She stands up to him, she doesn't take his crap, she's good for him.

Callie: Well, its funny because she's really got him whipped, and it's only been, a month... maybe.

Addison: I can be nothing but happy for them.

_**So Addison is going to read the note, it doesn't say much, its not that important.**_

**Hey, we need to talk. I want you to have fun this weekend though so I don't want to do this until Sunday night. Don't worry about anything, have fun with Callie, just call me on Sunday. **

**Love Alex**

_**Fast forward to Sunday night because I want this story to be concise.**_

Addison: Hey, its me

Alex: Oh, hey. I've been thinking about you.

Addison: I think about you too, a lot

Alex: Can we talk? I'll pick you up? Are you at the hotel?

Addison: Yeah...

Alex: Okay, meet me out front, thirty minutes?

Addison: Are we going someplace?

Alex: I thought we might

Addison: Outside...?

Alex: um... yeah

Addison: I just need to know how to dress

Alex: Only you

Addison: You've got thirty minutes hot stuff, you'd better hightail it.

Alex: Sure thing "princess"

Addison: Hey! Your ass, still mine.

Alex: You don't work in Seattle anymore, my ass is mine again.

Addison: You know you now have 28 minutes, because you spent two minutes flirting shamelessly with me on the phone.

Alex: Ah, but it was worth every penny.

_Later, in the car..._

Addison: SO... where are we going?

Alex: You keep asking, and I still, am not going to tell you.

Addison: Fine!(pouty face)

Alex: That face won't work on me, you can push, but I'm not moving.

Addison: I love you for that, and I hate you for that.

Alex: You love me?

Addison: Hmm... I said that out loud...

Alex: Yeah...

Addison: yeah...

Alex: Well, it doesn't matter, because we're here.

Addison: We're where.

Alex: Here, it's a high school

Addison: A high school, with a football field... that overlooks the Pacific ocean?

Alex: It's a rich high school...(proudly) my alma mater actually.

Addison: Your alma mater?

Alex: I was on scholarship. I was kind of a brain back then...

Addison(thinking) : Weren't we all...

Alex:... and I was offered full tuition. I wrestled here, and if it weren't for coach, I probably wouldn't have been able to get the scholarship to Iowa. This place was the one good thing about my childhood. I come here most nights and jog around the track. The view is too good to pass up.

Addison: It really is beautiful.

Alex: Not as beautiful as you

Addison: Alex... we can't, because when I leave, it will hurt... way too much.

Alex: Actually, we can...


	4. Wherever You Are

_Actually we can..._

"Addison, I'm moving to Los Angeles" He stepped toward her, lifting his hand he cupped her cheek.

" I transferred my residency, I start one week from tommorow"...

Her face was expressionless. There was absolutely no way for it to possibly convey the shock that she felt. Did he really just say he was leaving Seattle? Surely not... she couldn't let him do that. She could not let him give up everything he had, just to move to LA, for her.

She stepped away from his touch

"You can't, you cant come. I won't let you. You can't just give up everything that you know, your friends, your family, your career for Christ's sake. Not for me, I won't let you"

At this point there were a million different emotions running through his mind. The hurt that he felt though, that feeling superseded them all. If she didn't want him, then she could have it her way. He was past fighting for her. There wasn't anything else he could do. The woman he loved, the one he gave up everything for, really didn't want him. He should have known, but, for some reason he thought that maybe, just maybe, that the grandiose gesture was what she needed. It was he needed to do to prove that he was serious, that he wasn't going to hurt her or leave her; to prove that he was in it for good. His love for her was infinite and immeasurable, but clearly, that didn't matter to her; so now he was done.

He turned to walk away

"Alex... no! Alex wait... please don't go. Its just... I just... please lets just talk about this, for a second, please"

He whipped around. Damn her, why did she play these games with him! He hated her for that.

"Addison damn it! I love you! Why is it so hard for you to just let go? Let me love you! It's too late for you to tell me to stay in Seattle, the paper work, it's done. Accept it. Accept that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. This was me proving to you that when I said I loved you, it was real. This is my extravagant, pretentious, ostentatious gesture, to show you how much I love you. To prove to you that when I said I would give up a lifetime to have a single chance with you, I meant it! This is me loving you. So why can't we just "be"?

Ahemm... the eternal question. She wouldn't, no, couldn't let "them" in. Alex wasn't the first. She and Mark had the same conversation. Men, she could... no, would, no longer let them in. They might damage her, just like Derek had and she was afraid to take that chance. So she hid behind her wall, her façade of ice and she didn't let them past. She didn't know whether that trust with Alex was strong enough; she couldn't handle the hurt, not again.

"I'm scared, I'm scared that I will open up to you and I'll just end up getting hurt" Derek was the only man I've ever let in, and he hurt me. I'm scared of that happening again"

"You said you trusted me, did that just disappear? You have to trust me Addie. I love you and I will always be there. It'll be hard, really hard, but I'm not a quitter. I can promise that I won't just walk away when it gets tough, but you have to trust me."

Trust is a funny thing. You can trust a surgeon with your life if you're confident in their abilities, that's physical trust. She trusted him in that respect. She trusted his surgical abilities, he was confident with a scalpel, and she trusted his judgment. As a surgeon he was careful and concise. But emotionally, she didn't know what to think. Could he handle her feelings, her deepest thoughts and emotions, with the same care that he afforded to a newborn baby?

"When did you fall in love with me? How do you know that I'm it for you?"

He smiled, he remembered the exact moment, and he was sure she did too.

"In the nursery. When we were talking about the babies. You said you always imagined the lives they were going to live, the people that they were going to become. At that moment, I looked into your eyes, I knew. I saw it, I imagined the person that I was going to become, the life that I was going to live, and the only person in it was you."

Addison was on the verge of tears at this point, she knew now. She loved him too. She was going to have to take that leap...

"That day at lunch, I told you I trusted you, and I do. I believe that you won't hurt me, not intentionally, not the way its been in the past. So, okay. I want to take that leap together, because I've fallen in love with you. Its been there, but it was hiding...(smiles) and it just took some time to find it.

She smiled at him, a soft smile that turned into a grin when she pulled him close and kissed him. As she pulled away...

"You know what this means right?"

"Hmm... no..."

He couldn't even think straight as his mouth snaked up her neck and right behind her ear. He was taking in everything. Her taste, her touch, her smell. It was intoxicating.

"Well, (she giggled), it means, your ass is mine... again." as she playfully grabbed it

"hmm... baby, my ass, you can keep it forever..."

They both laughed as he picked her up and carried her to the car...


End file.
